What does this mean?
Saturday, January 29, 2005
i dont have friends who i can really relate to. i keep thinking about how these friends will appear when i go to college.
i feel wrong and i should spend more time and get to know my school friends. im always trying to find BETTER friends that can fill that void in my life. i never stop and think how my current friend are also a bunch if nice people. its just when its a small school, the friends you get are relatively small.
thats why i keep telling my friends, there will be better friends for you later. it could somehow be a major turn and i end up having no friends at all. what makes me think the friends im going to have in college will be better than those i have in high school?
i need friends. friends play a very huge part in my life. i dont have any siblings and my cousins are still too young.
ive decided to just stay in malaysia and further my studies here. we have 2 years of college right? do 1 yr here and then go somewhere else. or maybe i wont even go australia. the reason about i was so hyped on going to australia was because australians are cool and i would love living there and i love meeting people. i didnt wanna stay in malaysia because ill have to speak more malay. i dont like speaking malay all the time. coz it affects the way i speak english.
then it hit me. I DONT WANNA BE BLOODY AMERICANS WHO CAN ONLY SPEAK ONE PATHETIC LANGUAGE. learning 2 languages and being able to converse well in 2 languages is a very good thing. yeah yeah english is the universal language but its not fun to just be able converse in one language. so i wanna speak more malay. YES. saya suka bertutur dalam bahasa melayu.
wouldnt it be sad that in your whole entire life, you can only talk in english? such a sad sad thing. i wanna make it a point to learn french and a bit of chinese and indian. take it step by step.
so yeah, i wanna reside here but when i move out of malaysia its not that i hate malaysia, its just i like meetinng people. i enjoy it.
i have not yet studied or done any homework by myself. i really have to start now. ive got this frickin' gymrama thing. there will be concert later on. then theres asessment test next week. and by next week will be the first practise. and ive not done anything. all the stuff ive been doing is sleeping and watching tv. great huh? i really need to study now.
this weekend please study. i realy really really wanna do well.
- 2:16 AM